About Romance

   


     Hey all! It's been a while since I've posted but now I'm going to take a try at one of those writie posts where the good writer would proceed to talk very effectively and knowledgeably about something they spotted in writing- in this post, that will be romance.

     I have just wanted to rat out to the world about this subject to someone other than my sister Sam, who i have many times in the past, and get it out there.

     The thing today is BAD ROMANCE.




                                                      -- BAD ROMANCE--
                         




                                





       So, why bad romance? Thing is, I have read a book recently, a pirate book to be exact, that was a romance (surprise, surprise). On top of that, it was written by a Christian author.

     Don't get me wrong. If there hadn't been a romance the plot would have been decent. But there was a romance and I couldn't help but cringe every time the two main characters looked at each other, much less talked to one another.

     Now I am a hypocrite. I suck at writing romance and my characters are probably a little too raw with each other, if anything. (So why am I writing a post about this?)

     Consider, on the one hand, all the romances in movies and books.

     (The titanic, the notebook, to name a few.)
   
     (Someone tell me to shut up because I don't actually watch romances :/)

     It's sweet, and romantic, and girls buy the merchandise, right?
 
     As a writer, I can't help but cringe. Especially about this pirate book.

     The boy was in love. He was enraptured. He was completely and ultimately consumed about the girl. If he didn't know what she was eating for dinner, he just might die in a pile. He would sell his soul to Satan if it meant she could have the cookie she wanted. It was bad.

     He was a Ken doll running around after Selena Gomez. He was fake.

     Fake characters make for a fake book.

     And she wasn't any better. She was completely taken  by the Ken doll and when he told her he loved her (with dramatic music in the background) she threw herself on the nearest object like a Disney princess and wept.

     (Not literally, but you get my point.)

     Romance doesn't happen like that. I take my mom and dad as an example. They're not constantly gazing at each other and kissing. They don't have time to. If they were my older sisters would be dropping out of school (of course I would still be the perfect student) (JK) (lol) and my little sibs would be running into the streets and picking up candy from strangers.

     Romance is real. It happens. Just not like that.

     As a writer, I tried to write a love scene, took a step back, and said "Something's missing here."

    Bear with me here.

   
    "The cave's darkness did nothing to dim the stars that were in her eyes. He looked down on her with such a look of compassion and love to even melt the hardest heart. He ran his hand through her raven-black hair. 'How are you, my love?' He demanded with a fiery gaze, angered at whoever had done this to her. Her flushed cheeks flushed further at his concern and she sighed. 'Better now that you are here.' His gaze was intense on her face and with his next words were broken by a hiccuped sob of anger. 'Whoever has done this, i will make them pay.' The gentle one was quickly shushing him, and smiling with such tender love. 'It's but a scratch, my dear, don't worry.'"

   
     Do you see my point? It's bad, really bad. I wish to spew over my own writing. They don't talk like this. Maybe some people do, but it's freaking weird, Ani. So I tried again. These two are best friends. They care for each other, but you realize how it is with your best friend. You just don't quit your needy job to admire their new puppy. It just doesn't happen. Here's the rewrite:



     "Lou scrambled ahead of me to her and as I sat by her head he came by her side. Upon seeing him Cobie broke into a radiant smile that shone ever brighter on her face that was covered in dirt and sweat. “Lou!” “Hello.” He returned, resting a hand on her head, “Are you alright?” “I feel much better than before.” She admitted, “Thank you.” I watched sheepishly as he looked her over, freezing as he examined her leg. “God, Cobie… I…” She placed a hand on his arm. “It’s better, Hun. I’m fine.” He stared at her in silence for a while, and she just smiled. He opened his mouth to speak but she stopped him by reaching up with one hand, grabbing him by the back of his head and pulling him down to kiss her."

     

     Not better by much, I admit. But it's simpler. The characters feel real.

     Some romance is like they're always kissing when in real life it's more like:

Sherlolly foreva 

     Literally in every way. The dude spazzes out, the girl slaps him because he's neglecting to empty the dishwasher.


    Whelp

    That was long and rather unhelpful.

    I will become better at this, promise!

    I am not good at romance so comment your thoughts please!

     Here's a link to a good example of a real romance, being Hiccstrid.

    And that's all!


    https://www.pinterest.com/pin/475270566898993371/

    Thanks for reading and have a great day!